The good news is that Nathan has been feeling better since his last transfusion and we are having a great time...well, as much as could be expected. It's easy for me to say that because I'm not going through all the stuff he is.
Two months after we were married we were expecting Megan. When she was only a five months old I became pregnant with Michael. Emma was born less than two years later. Since I get pretty sick when I am pregnant, the first few years of our marriage was pretty much me being sick and then we were chasing after very active little kids while Nathan was working, going to school and being in Young Men's and Elder's Quorum presidencies. I've always felt kind of sad that we didn't really have the "newlywed" period in our lives. Being here has given us a chance to be together a lot. I've loved how we've gotten to cook together, walk everywhere together, talk about the podcasts we've been listening to, and when Nathan is feeling good, go explore Seattle.
The SCCA House is an amazingly helpful place to stay and we have already begun to make some friends here. It is exactly what is needed. The SCCA clinic is impressive and we have total confidence in the doctors there.
We have been feeling so confident, I was beginning to again feel like we were cheating somehow. That everything was going to be okay. It wasn't going to be easy, but we were so lucky and everything will work out perfectly. We were even given permission to head home for a week or two while we waited for our insurance to review all the test results and approve the transplant.
So there's the good news.
Today we learned that Nathan's latest spinal tap showed cancerous cells. We had hoped that would not be the case because it would mean he would need to receive radiation for his brain which would very likely result in loss of brain function that we were told could effect his professional and personal life. Nathan had previously had clean spinal taps. Hearing this news was almost as shocking as learning he had cancer.
In order to avoid this, we have decided to stay in Seattle instead of going home in order for Nathan to receive a much tougher regimen of chemo. He will be admitted to the hospital as soon as we have insurance clearance and they have a space; probably Saturday.
When we see how tough this particular cancer is to fight, all of our reservations about doing the transplant disappear and we cling to the hope of it saving Nathan's life.
Early next week, Nathan will also have a scan to check for brain tumors. I am so grateful for all the prayers on our behalf. It is unbelievable the difference they make and I will never be able to express how much they mean to us. So, I'd like to ask a favor, please. Instead of praying for Nathan to have a clean scan, I'd like to ask for prayers that there be no brain tumors, but if there are, that they will show up on the scan. I'd much rather face this and get it taken care of. I don't want runaway brain cancer down the road. :)
So that is where things are right now. Peter has been amazing throughout all the appointments and loves the attention he gets, although I know he misses his big brothers and sisters. He was excited to see kids when we went to church on Sunday and he crawls towards the computer when we are on Skype. I think he is gaining weight because I don't like him crawling on the waiting room floors (I gave in and let him once for just a few minutes and he had black knees) and I feed him snacks to keep him happy. I'm trying to think of other things to entertain him. He is bored of his little toys. Bubbles have gotten old and I only use them when the floor is carpeted. I'm thinking about getting a laser pointer, a small mirror and maybe a small car to keep in my pack. I've also thought of bringing a flat sheet and putting it on the floor. He's getting a little bit fed up with being held all the time. I'm open to any suggestions!
(I don't mean to suggest the SCCA is a dirty place. It is the CLEANEST place in the world! But a floor is a floor :) )
Peter is a very vocal little guy. Nathan has been interested in Chihuly since he was at CBC. Last night we walked to the Seattle Center and visited his gallery. It was pretty impressive and Peter loved it. He jabbered about each exhibit.
I'd better go entertain him, but I first want to say how lucky we are. I met a guy that left his wife and children in North Carolina. As much as I hate to leave my kids, I couldn't stand not being with Nathan through this and not knowing how he was doing. We are so lucky our kids are in good hands. Thank you to our families (especially our moms), Megan, our ward and our neighbors!
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