Day +39 - +44 REMISSION!!!

Last week Nathan started growth factor shots to stimulate nuetrophpil production and things have gotten noticeably better! His eating is almost back to normal and, although he is still on anti-nausea meds and feels nauseated much of the time, he has kept everything down all week! He has more energy and is visiting a physical therapist to help him regain his strength. His mucositis is almost gone.

The infectious disease department wasn't able to grow anything from his cultures, so we still don't know what was causing Nathan's fevers. He was given a strong antibiotic in the hospital that seems to have taken care of what ever it was. He hasn't had a fever since!

The most exciting part of this week was, on Sunday morning, we learned that the flow cytometry from Nathan's lumbar puncture came back NEGATIVE! No cancer was found.  For the first time in almost a year, Nathan is cancer free. What beautiful, exciting words! I know we still have a ways to go, that we are still waiting to see how Nathan fairs with GVHD and, in Nathan's situation, there is a strong possibility that the cancer could return. For now I'm not going to think about that. I'm going to be thankful and enjoy it. It feels like we are enjoying an enchanting rainbow at the end of a horrible storm. It is so much more fun to report good news!

On Halloween Emma, Norah, Peter and I went trick-or-treating at the clinic, had tons of fun and got way too much candy. This week Emma enjoyed being able to read almost constantly and learned how to juggle. She brought her flute and is sounding amazing for only have been playing for two months.

Mike, Tallia and Kenna brought Merian and Eliza up and took the other two girls home. I'm so glad we live by our family and the kids have Aunts and Uncles to look up to and that love and care for them. It was hard to see them go and I missed them the moment they left.  Tallia told me that on the way home Norah would periodically put up her hand and wave while saying, "goodbye, Mama." I'm glad she still loves me even though I've left her for so long. I've been worried that when I get home the kids won't care about me anymore! Having Norah and Emma here has shown me that it was right to leave the kids at home. There is no way Nathan would get the rest he needs or I'd be able to take care of him properly if everyone was here.

I've learned that one-year-olds have great memories when it comes to those they love. Peter walked right up to Merian and gave her a big hug. He even remembered Uncle Mike and gave him a long love.

Through this experience, I've also learned to be more humble. I like to be independent. I don't like accepting, and I especially hate asking, for help. Even from my family. From the first day Nathan was diagnosed I realized there was no way we could do this alone and that I was going to have to swallow my pride. We have been so very blessed with all of the service given to our family. The hardest part for me has been to accept the fundraisers and donations so generously given to our family. I am floored to know how much work has gone in to them and how giving so many people have been. Part of me wanted to tell everyone we didn't need it, that we would be okay without them, but that wouldn't be the truth - especially since our stay in Seattle has been twice as long as we originally planned. I will never be able to adequately express my thanks for all the fervent prayers, hours of service and generous acts given to our family. I've tried to write thank you notes for all the meals brought and gifts given but I know I don't have a complete list and that it is going to take me forever to get all the ones I do know written. We know that the money given to us is special and if there is any left over after all the bills are paid and we are certain Nathan is in remission we will pass an any that is left to someone who needs it.